Fashion Victims

I feel that, seeing as I have no friends, it is about time I told it like it is vis-a-vis the ridiculous "trends" that some females subscribe to in failed attempts to be fashionable. I am not blaming these girls as, lets face it, most of them don't have the braincells to actually consider why and where they are getting these awful garments. Indeed I choose to blame the shops; I have been in topshop recently and its one big place filled with a few nice things and all these fur lined, feathered, thongy red herrings putting you off the scent of looking like a person. Regardless of fashion and what designers do, topshop is an idiot for thinking the regular people out there know how to manage their products. I shall expand on a few of my most detested items of late.

Firstly, as it is current, the gladiator sandal. What the hell is this thing? It's like a normal sandal has procreated with five others and the result in human terms would have 7 fingers and an extra ear. I am not against leather, sandals, or multiple straps (in theory) but when people buy items like this the mind boggles. Even the idea behind the whole thing is ridiculous. Gladiator. Yes, I want to look like a GLADIATOR. A slave who has to fight to a bloody death in front of many social betters. And how shall I do this? By mimicing what a movie told me he wore on his feet while partaking in said beatings. GREAT idea guys, hats off.

Now we move on to the second of the three most awful trends I have singled out, UGGS. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE FUZZY LUMPS OF SHIT COLOURED MATERIAL? I mean, really these are like your slippers and your wellies bred and, may I ask, would you actually wear either your slippers or your wellies outside on a day to day basis (save collecting the paper or being on a farm/it very wet?) The most awful thing about them is the colour (poo brown of many varients), no the price (in excess of £100 at least...my australian friend told me they used to cost buttons btw, morons).. oh! or the fact that the knock off ones often seem to look marginally better...actually, no i've got it. its the way people think they are waterproof and charge them through muddy puddles and they end up all brown and wet and the boot slips off the heel so the person looks like they have some sort of debilitating limp.
Either way, anyone who wears these should know they look like they stepped in dog shit and it is now engulfing their legs.

Thirdly and finally, my most hated of ALL. Wearing leggings in place of trousers.
I have no idea who this woman is but she outlines the problem exactly as I wanted her to. Leggings are not trousers/jeans. They are leggings. They are barely more coverage than tights, yet somehow it is now ok to go out wearing leggings and a t shirt? WTF?! Also for some girls leggings have become too demure and now they will wear tights as trousers. These girls seem also to think an awful lot of their own arses. Because, indeed, that is all you notice when said fashion item is worn: arses. You know I can see your arse, and your arse crack, and from the front I can see your crotch, when you go out like that? Why does that not bother them.

And there. We are done. People are idiots. I clearly am brilliant (well, at least I dont wear harem pants). And Topshop is the devil, converting sheep to look like mutton dressed like lamb day after day. Good Morning.