post-wedding intertia

I couldn't even think of a title for this blog. I don't feel eloquent in the slightest today.

I feel so disjointed just now. But I am also so very happy. Maybe I am just having bother processing such joys that I feel as if its a free lunch and I don't trust it. I said previously I would spend my days doing little, lounging around reading, drinking tea and having baths. I have done this a little bit but to be honest it hasn't been the relaxing time I hoped for. When I have time with nothing I need to do I feel so restless. I feel bored, and tired and like I should have something to do, something I don't want to do. Maybe I'm just easing into it, I've not been used to having nothing to do for a while. When something I do have to do emerges I get myself all wound up about it, and it feels like an enormous burden. I am forgetting to do things when I only have one thing to do. I feel as though I can't bring myself to do things I normally enjoy. Nothing seems fun. I am not unhappy though, just tired I think, in a multitude of ways. When Stuart isn't here I feel like I am incomplete and like I am waiting on him to return. Cling film.

I'm so overwhelmed of late that now the excitement of things has been diminished. Like spending our wedding gift vouchers and unpacking the stuff at home is a chore compared to weddings and honeymoon and time constraints and stressful travel arrangements. I am a little worried that I'm not going to be able to cope with university again. I think I will be okay though and I will probably get back into the way of it soon.

It feels like university is so close now and I have to have all the other things in my life in complete order come October because by then I wont be able to schedule anything except work. But actually doing these things is wearing me out so much. I am listless.

It's a quandry, whether to fight through and get things done before university or to try and recouperate before the enslaught.

Also I am so fed up of all the wedding paraphenalia that edorns our abode currently. Tartan ribbons everywhere. Things I don't need, all in piles of 60s. I had everything in order before, with no space to spare. And the gift list presents arrive on Wednesday. I had a big pile of bags for the wedding on the sofa in the study for weeks. Then for one day it was empty (27th). Then it got covered in presents and wedding stuff brought home. I went through presents today but still stuff and boxes linger. I have loads of things I meant to ebay ages ago clogging up space too.

I think I am going to go and read, drink tea and listen to some music with the cats; possibly stuart, possibly not.

What about a title though?