Electioneering

So now that a general election has been announced for May 6, suddenly EVERYONE'S new passion is politics. It appears that if you are from England time has come for "change" i.e. the tories. ("change" - sound familiar? sound like another country that recently had a rather high profile election and a two party system?). If you are from Scotland then you basically have the choice between a failing (slightly) left of centre party with a leader resembling a very befuddled bull mastiff with poor political advisers (see right) or a failing (at westminster) left of centre party with a man as a leader who is completely deluded about state formation and has single-handedly managed to dupe the nation into thinking this whole nationalist thing is a good idea. You have these two choices only as to vote for the tories is effectivley to wear a swastika and admit (god forbid) your no working class hero after all. If your from Northern Ireland you probably don't give a shit what the tories are up to, unless you are Sylvia Hermon in which case your running for the door, and your like "libwhos?". If your from Wales your probably annoyed that blog writers have no idea what current affairs are in Wales right now.

To be honest its not the politicians, and the parties and the spin that bugs me, because lets face it, your always going to get that plus it gives you great ammunition for your political science class exams in May (they start May 7th for me), its all the idiots having their say. Yes, freedom of speach and everyone has their own opinion but people know nothing and think their measly experience on this planet somehow makes them know all. So you lived through the Thatcher years? You know, that doesn't mean you know anything about politics today, don't you? You know that probably means you didn't even know anything about politics in the 1980s either, don't you? You know you don't even realise how subjective you are being right now?!? Just because a piece of legislation effected you in a certain way doesn't mean it didn't effect other people in other ways. Sure if it benefitted you then your all smiles, but what if it didn't help hundreds of other people? And vise-versa. Please look at it with your blinkers off. Or at least if you are going to look at it with your blinkers on then admit so. I've been knee deep in this shit for the last five years and now your years of "life experience" render what I know obselete. Good job politics isn't the focus of my degree then.

I know I sound elitist, I know people should have opinions and that's ok, but why do some people just have to challenge everything you say just because they can? It's like the woman my mum knows and calls "elevenerife". (Don't get it? take away one from the number in that word). Some folk just love to hear their own voice. I went to university as a person who couldn't specify a topic where I could say "I know enough about that to have a real conversation and I probably know more about it that anyone I know". I thought that would change, and it did... but no-one wants to know. Ignorance is bliss.

The times they are...becoming quite different

So I quit one of my jobs. It's been a long time coming and for one reason or other I chose to stay on a little longer each time, but now I have left. No dramatics, no problems. Four years down the line and so much had changed, I just had to move on. It's one less wage (but lets face it I wasn't working much anyway) which may cause problems later but for now I am happy, it would seem. Thing is, no-one knew, no-one noticed and no-one bothered. Ok, I know I was only working a few hours a week and I have changed shifts a few times in the last year so I wasn't working with the same people I started with, but surely four years service gets at least a goodbye? It appears not. A card with a few "I'll miss you" or "good lucks"? Not today. The obligatory present that everyone grudgingly donates £2 to? (I would know I've probably donated about £50 over the four years I worked there to many, amongst the people I didn't even like and the people who were only there for 3 months) No chance! I knew I wouldn't get a present, I was pretty sure about the lack of card, but I at least expected a goodbye. I guess I'm not the sort of person people miss, or the sort of person people even remember.

Do you ever get the feeling that no-one ever remembers you but you ALWAYS remember them? I'm that person! I'm the one who is re-introduced and the one who ends up saying hi to someone I met before who thinks I'm a stranger. Someone you've met before will be like "Hi, I'm Mr. Bawbag". Yes, I know, we did this whole routine before. "It was nice meeting you". Maybe I should say that to everyone all the time. Even my mum. "it was nice meeting you [today] mum".

Oh well.

Also, uni is ending. This is a proper end of an era. I want it over so much, but I also want more time to do it properly. I keep thinking that by the end of May it will be all over, my fate will be sealed and I can live my life properly. At the same time I'm like SHIT its APRIL?!?!!? I swear it was the end of January like a flash ago. I just want to do well now. And I am fed up of having to feel sorry for the people who don't achieve as much as I do. I'm sorry, but for me a 60 is a bad mark. Even if its a good mark for them, its still a bad mark for me and I don't want to feel like I'm just lucky and they have to toil... I work unbeleivably hard for what I get. I didn't go to university to work to fund a night life 6 days out of seven and wrecklessley "stress out" for one day a week to get that elusive 60. For me this is the 9-5 and the rest is periphery, especially this year. I'm not a loser for having my dissertation completed half way through January - I planned it and worked for 3 months in summer to do that. I'm not lucky, and you are not unlucky. I know there are people who work really hard and get whatever grade and will hate me saying all this. I have a lot of sympathy for these people, they are just like me. But I really do get the feeling we are the exception to the rule. There is no way I am going to look back and think that i could have achieved more. Why plan for regret?

Finally today means that it is 5 months and 27 days until the wedding. Holy moley thats getting close and the above means I've been putting no effort into planning it. I dont care though, whatever happens as long as Stuart and I actually get married, I couldn't care. People keep asking what about the dress, what kind of car, have you arranged the photographer? &c., but (aside from the ceilidh) the thing that I'm excited about is having a husband (especially one who is made of the same as me). We bought our rings, I guess they are the material representation of this and I can feel exicted about that for now. Until the end of May though, there are more pressing issues than at what precise time the sham-pagne will be served.

Yes, so it is the end of an era, but it all feels so natural that I don't think i will actually notice it happening. I handed in my last essays the other day and, listening to my ipod, the music managed to fit it (without planning) perfectly, like a wee soundtrack american drama style. I dropped the essays in the box and the song changed and then it all got serious. In other news though me and Stu and Flore are going to Bowlie 2 in Decmeber for a road trip to butlins to see Belle ans Sebastian... good times!!

try this next time you hand in your essay. On the way to the box (adam green - buddy bradley) and as the essay drops in (belle and seb. - wrapped up in books)

the politics of friendship

I don't want to buy into all that but I do, I have done, I didn't learn. What can I say? Well at least this time the network is so strong that I didn't fall through and land on something flat. But still.

I'm angry now, and probably I am getting angrier. It's funny how you become angry gradually and increasingly over a few days with things like this, but being hurt comes all at once. As soon as you realise what has happened, what the intent was, and how little you have been kept in mind...it is like a stab. And your heart numbs and you make a little gasp, as though you have been winded. Sometimes it actually hurts like that too.

After that hurt I probably overreacted? Maybe, but true enough I'm not going to force myself to have fun while at the same time masking the fact that I want to collapse and invoke pain in the tiniest way all at one time. I don't like to bottle stuff up it just comes back at the most irritating times. I guess I like to control my emotions in the same way I like to control everything else in life, but I felt as though as long as I could make the time, and I was ok with it, I could be down.

This was as the thought process had evolved enough. "I'm driving" said it all to me and I could see, I could just tell that this was no unfortunate occurrence, no "nothing-I-could-do-about-it" situation - this was a choice, in one direction. I can't beleive I let myself be a doormat for even a few sentances! It makes me feel sick.

So It's been run with and talked out and scored out over and over. And I felt a bit better, I do feel better, I don't feel like collapse.

Last night highlighted everything I need to know though. When I saw her standing there the general effort we all make stinking up the air and the perhaps over-played smiles I just felt like I had been punched in the face. Do you ever end up physically hurting yourself in a dumb way - say walking into a table or the like - and the red mist coming down, getting SO angry that you never saw it coming? That was like it. And of course you have to be civil. All I wanted to do was find the gaping bloody wound and rub her face right in it and tell her "now you see it! how could you have not? why do I deserve this!?". But then again, I'm now fairly sure she has been master of this knowledge of the social reality underpinning this whole spectacle since Wednesday afternoon.

At least now everything is crystal clear. It is so clear and such a piercing reality that it hurts, but not like before, not in the way you would cry, but in the way that you can turn that pain into a grimace and know that even if it is bad, at least you can really feel it. I'm not stupid, and neither is she. Now she knows what she has done, and she knows that I can't beleive how arrogant a move it was to go. I hope she is aware that I don't buy innocence and I can't tolerate the victim procedure that is gone through. Some people appear to be so light and sweet that you are like a bee to honey and you end up regretting it. I honestly would rather have the most harsh person by my side, with the knowledge that even if affection is hard to obtain, they will be there holding you up. And in this sense I am the luckiest person in the world as I have Stuart doing that and he is in no way harsh.

I thought I might have been too easily affected, that I was taking it personally when it was a routine thing. I don't feel I have been rash. I noted my two choices last night and the decision was made for me. I can't beleive you would lie like that! And what's more I can't beleive I bought into all the deep chats, being a shoulder to cry on, being singled out for time...

No matter how hard times for either party there has to be reciprocation and I have had nothing. Yes it may be the cold compared to cancer in some eyes but I guess I'm just a footnote? Either way this is it. I'm not going to compramise anything else I have and I am not putting people I care about in uncomfortable situations but I'm done with that. I don't give a shit what you think or how you feel - because you clearly didn't give a moment of your life to think about me, and for that you lose me.

You can't have it both ways

I'm always the one who organisies things. Meeting for coffee, uni-related group projects, Nights out, birthdays, etc etc - you name it; I've arranged it. Mostly I don't really mind this and being a control-freak I feel quite comfortable doing so. Infact, a lot of the time I would rather do it. However, there are always people to take this ability to get people in one place at one time successfully and turn it into a criticism of you, which soon enough becomes a nuclear bomb of self doubt and a feeling as though you are miss jean brodie being force fed a chill pill.

I understand that people probably do appriciate such organisation really, but the opposite manifests itself so often in "you ALWAYS make facebook events for EVERYTHING", "Yes, I KNOW its tomorrow", "Why do I have to pay in advance?", "Do you HAVE to book it?" and so forth. Maybe people just don't like being told what to do. Maybe people take my corralling as some sort of criticism of their own ability to organise themselves? Maybe being told what/when/where/why by someone harks back to being a child living with their parents and being constantly harrassed? Either way, I do what I can (and in the least intrusive or naggy ways that I can) to sort out a get-together and all I get are peoples snidey remarks and a feeling as though all the stress isn't worth it.

Thinking of this often, I sometimes decide not to involve myself in the organisation, to just arrive and have done. Two things become apparent. Firstly, as my better half pointed out the last time, the thing sucks. The un-booked restaurants are full or have an hour long wait, the cinema times at that cinema don't suit those getting a bus home, moblie reception is lost and someone ends up not finding the group and so on until one by one people just decide to leave. This coincides with a general indecisiveness that falls on the members of groups and no-one wanting to stand out. Secondly, should such occurr, I sometimes find myself being looked to for all the answers and to make all the decisions. I have to say "lets try and go here" only to find out that someone HATES that place and I am therefore enforcing my regime upon them. And from then on I am thought of to LOVE that place that someone didnt want to go to and turned out to be kinda crap anyway. There is no way to win.

So I resign myself to organising everything, all the time, and just have to take the negatives with it. Who said marriage is hard work? It's keeping a fluid and slippery group of loosley associated people together for 2 hours that is the challenge. And for them actually to enjoy it? Well thats another objective altogether.

All I ask is that now and again when the phrase "You always...go there/do this/text me that etc" is about to come out of your mouth... just consider that maybe the person who arranged what you are participating in had the honest intention of making the event a success and enjoying it with all the people they like there, and keep it in, or even say thanks.

noteworthy

nomelette
2 eggs
2 spring onions
2 tbsp spoons cooked chickpeas (tinned or fresh)
3 tbsp milk
cheese
butter

butter in pan
chop onions and put them and all other ingredients in bowl and whisk well
put in the hot butter pan
cook until almost all cooked
put cheese on top of omlette in pan
cook for a little more til cheese melted
fold omlette in half in pan and serve on plate
nom nom nom nom

choconut cake

2 tbsp marg
4 tbsp golden syrup
2 tbsp cocoa
4 digestive biscuits
rice krispies
6 blocks white choc
6 blocks milk choc
6 blocks dark choc
desicated coconut

mix marg and syrup in microwave or over pan of water simmering
add cocoa to melted stuff
add digestives and approx double the amount of that of rice krispies or til the mix is tough
put it in a tray and push it into the corners tight with spatula
melt chocolate in nonstick pan over lowest heat possible
dont mix the choco just allow it to melt
once melted scoop it ontop of tray stirring little so you get a marbled effect
sprinkle thick layer of coconut ontop, put in fridge for a few hours

Lies about the Union

I am so fed up with hearing absolute slanderous lies about the origins of the Anglo-Scottish Union that I am going to clarify this matter and then refer anyone else who vomits about a pile of crap about their take on it here.

Firstly the Union of the countries of Scotland and England took place in 1707. This was an incorporating union of the PARLIAMENTS, and the final stage of union that has taken place until present. The Union of the CROWNS did NOT take place in 1707, it took place in 1603 and represented a DYNASTIC union where the countries of Scotland shared a monarch only and each country retained its own parliament. So:

1603 - Union of the Crowns (dynastic)
1707 - Union of the Parliaments (Incorporating)

Ok, I'm glad we are now clear on this matter.

Secondly, the view that (as I heard to eloquently put yesterday) "As a result of the failed Darien scheme, Scotland went 'cap in hand' to England for union, due to poverty" (Curtosey University of Strathclye Architecture Department)is but one arguement. It is NOT conclusive. Darien is NOT the reason for union. POVERTY is not the reason for union. The union is NOT for economic reasons. Anyone who has to explain why a union came about in 1707 should simply repeat this word for word and save themselves looking ignorant:

"The 1707 union came about for NUMEROUS, VARIED reasons, including economic, social and political factors. The most important reasons for union are debatable according to the perspectives of different historians".

Most often people who want to say things like "the union happened mostly for economic reasons, there were a few wars going on at the time, but yeah - economic reasons" (Curtosey University of Strathclyde Department of Sociology) are really just looking to show what impact the union had on something else (i.e. architecture, education &c.) so should therefore just repeat the above quote. If they feel the actual reasons for Union are important to what they are studying then they should enroll in a proper history class on the union with a proper scholar who researches the topic themselves. Otherwise don't preach unresearched arguements which are not backed up by the evidence, and which you probably gained half from your out-dated high school history education from the 60s and half from some ill-informed TV programme you saw on BBC2. Possible economic reasons for the union do exist. However so do other reasons, and I personally would stress the importance of political considerations in assessing the reasons for the union. Let's just think about this on the most basic level for a moment. I'm sure that most would agree that late seventeenth/early eighteenth century European states were interested in expanding their power. I'm sure that having an empire was a thing most states would seek for the political and trade benefits associated? Well, assuming you agree this, why would England agree to a union with Scotland if there was nothing in it for them? Let's see - according to our economic reasons perspective, Scotland's failed attempt at empire - darien - had created a small country with poverty rife. Why would England want this country if economic factors were the only ones of real influence over the union? HMMM... could it be that there were some other political considerations given the European and international context? I'll let you decide after you read the bibliography. In addition to that, if England accepted the union because Scotland came "cap in hand" to England this would assume that the country had some sort of philanthropic desire to help the country next door. I'm sure any semi-educated person would find this hard to believe given the time frame we are talking about.

I wont go into the other reasons for union here. Suffice to say I have spent a YEAR considering this in much detail and involving many archival sources and still I am unclear in my mind what the reasons for union were. This is why it is so enraging to see someone who hasn't lifted a research-based academic history book in their life spouting a pile of shite about how Scotland waved byebye to all her money on a boat to Shitsville, South America and then England kindly saved our poor poverty stricken country from a hell of its own making. SCREW YOU. People wonder why Scots are defeatist? People wonder why Scots will assume defeat in popular sporting events and savour one tiny win as the miricle of the century? People wonder why this country has an inferiority complex and chip on the shoulder nationalist attitude? Start by telling the history of the place properly!! If it is drummed into people that Scotland couldn't survive as an independent country anymore and had to get on her knees and beg to the English to save it then no f-ing wonder Scots dont think they can win a football game. I'm so fed up with these myths based on absolute bollocks that some idiot heard off the television.

The uninformed beleifs of people as mentioned above not only make what I am doing and have been doing seem pointless and meaningless, but disgrace the work of the historians out there researching this topic and putting a life times work into something that some idiot will ride roughshod over without another thought.

One final word of warning: Information on historical topics on the Radio, Television and in the papers is BIASED. It will usually be based on the research of one person, if any person, and this shows ONE VIEW of MANY VIEWS. Treat with CAUTION.

If you are really interested in learning about this topic enough to converse on an intellectual and informed level about then I suggest you read these two books:

Allan I. Macinnes, A Union for Empire

Chris Whatley and Derek Patrick, The Scots and the Union

And once you have read them consider the conficting opinions and read what is in their bibliographies including the primary material.

If this sounds too hard then I stress - REPEAT AFTER ME:

"The 1707 union came about for NUMEROUS, VARIED reasons, including economic, social and political factors. The most important reasons for union are debatable according to the perspectives of different historians".

Pancake Day Recipes You Will Love Or Your Money Back

HELLO PANCAKE DAY! what Tuesday? PANCAKE Tuesday!

So, I just made a fully-pancake-based dinner of two courses that took me all of 30 minutes to do. I think this is blog worthy. Politics? Ponderings? Soul Searching? CUT.....PANCAKESSS!!!

Anyway here are the recipes and even though pancake day is coming to a close and you may not keep black pudding in your freezer like I do (cause you are mentally ill I guess :P), I am sure a savoury pancake main course and sweet pancakey dessert will appeal on days other that today. Hey, maybe I will repost this on Pancake-Eve next year.

Savoury Spanish Meaty Pancake Spectacular (for want of a more succint name)

Serves 2
Prep time 15 mins
cook time 15 mins

Sauce
2 linked sausages
2 black pudding slices
1 can chopped tomatoes
1 tbsp tomato puree
4 blocks of cacao/ 70%+ dark chocolate
1/2 tsp chilli powder
1 tsp lemon juice
oil to cook

Pancake Batter
120g Self raising flour
1 egg
1/4 pint of milk
handful of chopped chives
pinch salt
pinch black pepper

To Serve
grated cheese
sour cream

Making the Pancake Batter
1. Beat the egg in a bowl
2. Add milk and mix.
3. Add flour and mix well.
4. Add pepper, salt and chives and mix.

Making the sauce
1. Chop black pudding and sausages into small chunks and fry with a little oil in a pan until cooked.
2. Add tomatoes and mix.
3. Add chocolate, chilli, lemon juice and tomato puree and mix
4. Simmer for 10 minutes to vapourise the extra moisture and condense the sauce until it is thick like chilli is, stirring periodically to prevent sticking.



Cooking the pancakes
1. Add a little oil to a frying pan on a low to medium heat.
2. Pour in half the pancake batter to the middle of the pan.
3. When the first side is cooked little bubbles will appear around the 1/3 of the pancake nearest the edge, at this point flip the pancake WITH A SPATULA (to prevent it going on the floor).


4. Cook the other side until lightly browned. Remove from heat.


Serving
Place the pancake on the plate and spoon the sauce in the middle. Add a few spoonfuls of sour cream to the top and sprinkle with grated cheese. TA DA! Savoury pancake tastiness for all (well, 2).

Scotch Pancake Stack Dessert
Ingredients
120g Self raising flour
1 egg
1/4 pint of milk
30g caster sugar
small pinch of salt
Blocks of white and milk chocolate
Syrup (Golden or Maple)

Prepare batter
1. Beat the egg in a bowl
2. Add milk and mix.
3. Add flour and sugar and mix well.
4. Add salt and mix.

Cooking the pancakes
1. Add a little oil to a frying pan on a low to medium heat.
2. spoon small amounts of the batter into the pan in 2s or 3s. I suggest 2 desert spoons of mixture in 3 places or 3 dessert spoons in 2 places, depending on the size of your frying pan of course.
3. The first side will be done once bubbles on the top of the pancake. Flip the pancakes to the other side and cook until lightly brown then remove.


Serving
1. Stack your pancakes on a plate (diet=1 pancake sensible=2 pancakes hungry=3 pancakes greedy=4 pancakes heartattack=5+ pancakes)
2. Add blocks of chocolate on top of the pancakes (and in between layers if you like). If the pancakes were straight from the pan the choc will melt, otherwise heat in microwave for 10 seconds or so)


3. drizzle syrup over the stack.


ENJOY! mmmmmmmmmm